The unexplainable desire to jump when on the edge of a cliff  

The hardest part of being strong for so long is when you go through everyday smiling and laughing
and pretending that everything is okay
then going home and gluing that fake smile back on your face for your family
who are still always wondering if everything is still going okay

Then and the darkest time of night at 3am when you sit in your room collapsed by the pain of your mind
clawing at ever thought feasting on all happiness you had left
when you're  whispering to yourself that maybe everything was never okay...